Am I Real?
by PhoenixPandora
Summary: Tsuki Koizumi beleives she is not human nor an angel as some call her, for she knows what she is brought up to be, but she is a human and when she returns to her own world, she begins to feel more involved than anyone else usually is...


Am I Real?

Chapter one

People usually think I'm angel when I say I 'fell' from another place. They think I'm a magical being, bringing happiness and joy to them. My God, How wrong all these people are. Me? An Angel? It's not possible for I cannot die. I am bound to be a Shinigami, a god of death, for eternity. I cannot be an angel because there is no Heaven or Hell for me, though where I stay for most of my useless time seems like a Hell.

An empty, barren land, inhabited by the thirteen other Shinigami plus the king of the Shinigami which is fourteen, plus me is Fifteen, Ridden with lies and Hate and Murder, Murder.

We all have a notebook of ultimate power_, the human whose name is written in this note shall die _is written on the first page you see, a notebook of death and destruction, a Death Note.

But I'm sure you all know about the Death Notes power and of the mysterious _Kira_ whom people called _God_, but you all have no Idea about the girl whose life was a mystery to her. Her name is, Tsuki Koizumi, and she is the one telling you all this, in the simple terms. _Me._

_(Line)_

Have you ever woken up, and looked around then thought you're not in the right place? I get that feeling every time I wake up in the Shinigami realm, I feel like I don't belong there, my looks are very different to those of a Shinigami's with only a few similarities for example, I posses Shinigami eyes and the ability to fly and go through walls, Yet, I am so different in other things, I have soft pale skin, Natural Hazel eyes and long messy black hair.

They on the other hand, are nothing like that, and don't even have hair on the top of their heads. It's scary, they all seem similar to themselves, but they know I'm different, I feel I should know too. I'm also much more intelligent than them…and moderately smaller at the moment, but hey! I'm only five years old…I think…

One of the Shinigami…Armonia Justin Beyondormason, the King of Death's advisor called me over to him. I jumped up from the rock I was sitting on.

'Tsuki, the old man wants a word with you'

I nodded and went to find the Shinigami King, He was very important so I'm sure I should feel honoured he wanted to see me, but I wasn't, at all. Think about it hard, would you really be that honoured to be called over by the King of Death?

I bowed low as I saw the fabled King; he lifted up my head and looked deep into my eyes, I moved my gaze away, his eyes scared me, he held my head so I was forced to look into his fully. I then saw my life before I knew this world. I saw my mother, my father…the illegality of the relationship, the baby they made, and the hate my fathers' legal wife had for me, the pain…then BAM! A figure similar to the one of whoms eyes I was staring into appeared in front of me and picked me up then swooped up into the sky as I was out of the house alone one night, he let go of my face as I shook off what I had just seen in his eyes, The King of Death had adopted me as a daughter and I became a Half- Shinigami.

I backed away from the King and ran away; I bumped into something and fell over. I got up and look at what I bumped into, it was one of the lower ranked Shinigami, Ryuk, the one who craves excitement, he looked at me then, knelt down to my height.

'The old man says I have to take you down there' He told me, grabbing me then flew to one of the many holes to see into the human world, we passed through the portal and appeared in a back alley in the world, there was a wall with shiny glass on. A _mirror_ I believe it's called, I saw my small self. 'Ryuk, this is me, and there is you!' I pointed a finger to the cold glass 'This is where I belong' I closed my eyes and thought about what I saw in the King's eyes. I opened my eyes and Noticed Ryuk wasn't there, I ran out of the alley and found myself in a busy place with lots of people with soft skin, but it was different colours.

I bumped into many people but at one point when I was getting so distressed I fell over then burst into a spout of tears, an arm scooped me up, I looked at the persons head _Quillish 'Watari' Wammy _I squealed as he held me.

'You're lost aren't you?' He asked 'don't worry, Ill take care of you'

Another Kid appeared, I knew him already so I paid no attention to him, but then…then I saw another kid, black messed up hair, dark eyes, I didn't know him, but I already knew I loved him. The name…?

_L Lawliet_

_(line)_

I am now going to skip to my eleventh Birthday, if you want know what happened after that; Watari took me in as a _Genius _child, I lived with _that boy_ and L. Nothing really interesting and of no great matter to a person like you, do you really want to know about everything we learnt? Nope.

I awoke on my eleventh, stretching my arms, wiping away sleep, thinking it was just an ordinary day, until I caught sight of a sign on my door reading _Happy Birthday_. I got up and sighed, a hand on my head, Watari went all out on birthdays since we were more conscious of what a birthday was.

I got changed into casual clothes and opened my door, a ten year old L was stood there smiling holding up a wrapped box. I blinked a couple of times as I closed my bedroom door behind me and took the box out of his hands.

I was about to shake it but the minute I held it up to my ear, L took it off me. Then gave it back to me, without any voice, I knew it was easily broken. I smiled and took his hand 'I'll open it downstairs' okay?'

He nodded, and bit his thumb on the other hand; we then walked to where the stairs were in Wammy's orphanage.

We passed _his_ door I swooped on past his door, L lingered outside it for a while then saw I had let go of his hand and was moving swiftly away from the door. I noticed out of the corner of my eye L run up to me as the door slowly opened, I grabbed L's hand and ran down the stairs to where Watari was.

The boy whom I hope I have portrayed as someone I hate, his Alias name here is _B_, standing for _Backup_. I knew him before I had ever seen him, the boy born with the eyes of my adopted kind. I had an Immediate disliking for him, he has no idea why I hate him, I probably should feel sorry and pity him, it would seem the right feeling to have but that's not my true feelings, I scoff at things like that for this boy, to me he is nothing and he has no right to live. I do realise how horrible that is, but if you knew him, you'd know why I feel so strong about my hate for him.

I got downstairs and Watari was waiting with a gourmet Breakfast out, if you ever met him from his first appearance you would not expect him to be a great cook, as a famous inventor you'd think he has no time for cooking, but us Wammy kids know better.

I sat down and L sat next to me on my left, Watari placed a heap of wrapped shapes in front of me. I heard the door creak as B came in the room. I didn't look but reached for the first one.

'That's from me' B told me taking the place to my right.

I unwrapped it to reveal a collection of multicoloured bracelets. 'Thanks' I told him, one of the little times I look into his eyes.

I took up the next parcel and soon the table was covered with wrapping paper of many colours and a pile of selected gifts for me, I was so happy.

Then, Watari took me out of the room and handed me a note that read:

_Here is your very own, Use it wisely little one_

_K.O.D._

Watari then passed me a notebook, a purple notebook, I was confused at first then I opened the cover and saw instructions. I screamed and dropped it on the floor. My eyes went to Watari as I picked up the notebook. I kept it close to me. Hugging it tightly. I had one of my own…my very own Death Note…I ran up to my room and shut the door, opened the book and read all the instructions, carefully and memorising them all.

A knock on the door made me jump five metres in the air; I quickly hid the notebook and called out to whoever it was 'Come in!' My voice was panicky.

The door creaked open and L's messy hair calmed me, He pushed the door open with his back, he was still holding the parcel. I hadn't opened the one from him yet.

He passed it to me smiling. I sat down on the bed and opened the parcel unwrapping the silver paper that covered it, I folded the paper up and put it next to me, I was left with a brown box, I opened it up easily, the box was filled with small polystyrene shapes, I looked at L.

'Dig around' he told me. So I stuck a hand in a moved it around, hoping to find something, my hand met a shaped and I pulled it out, it was a photo frame, it was portrait and the design on the frame was ornate and typically Japanese, it read on the top in that language _Sakai No Yakusoku _which means the promise of a lifetime.

I traced my finger around the pattern then looked at L.

'My promise for your lifetime is that I will be there for you' He told me. I blinked a couple of times and then hugged him tight. I felt a cold liquid seep from my eyes onto my face.

'Now all we need is a photo of us' I told him. He agreed and we gazed into each other eyes, we we're only past a decade old, yet we knew we wanted to spend our lives with each other.

_(line_)

_Eighteen years old. A girl with long sweeping black hair standing on the edge of a cliff, arms wide open 'I WON'T FALL' she yells 'I CAN'T' she laughs and glances behind her to the one she loves, a boy the same age as her love appears behind him, a dagger poised at her loves back, the light in her eyes fade and she slips on a rock, tumbling, falling…a face in the darkness grinning._

I awoke with a start and looked around my room. L was sat in his way on a chair in the corner, His thumbnail to his lips. I smiled, its okay, just a dream.

I got up and went to take L's hands.

'Happy nineteenth.' I told him taking his face and kissing him lightly on the lips.

I told him to turn around as I got out his present from under my bed. I gave it to him, hoping he liked it.

He took of the paper and unveiled two boxes; he opened one, which was filled with sweet things from all over the world, because he has a sweet tooth. He then opened the other, which had little charms I had collected over the years; they all meant something to us. He slipped of the chair and hugged me tight.

'Thank you' He told me. Taking my hand, we went downstairs; Watari snapped a picture of us, and then quickly went to print it off.

B was sat at the end of the table examining a knife. 'You can't cut with this knife' he said to know on in particular 'you have to saw really hard to cut meat' he continued 'what I need is a_ dagger_' He relished these words and looked up at me, L had already sat down on a chair, I looked at B with hatred. Then turned away to L, putting an arm over him.

Watari returned with the picture, it was of me and L he had his arms around me, we were smiling. I decided this was the exact picture to put into the photo frame he gave me for my eleventh.

I went upstairs and slotted it into the frame. I then put it down next to my bed, so I would see it when I woke up every morning.

I turned to see B standing there.

'Why do you hate me?' He asked, his head on one side 'why do you torment me with your eyes' he stepped forwards and an arm came from behind his back.

'B…' I stuttered.

'B for Backup' He spat on the parquet flooring 'BB for Beyond Birthday more like' he smiled at me. His eyes shone a reddish colour. He brandished a carving knife at me.

'Your killing me Tsuki' He said 'Killing me' he took a step forward 'so I must leave, we will meet again soon I hope' He told me lunging the dagger into my side, I screamed 'I love you' He said as he left me bleeding on the floor.


End file.
